Have you ever tried disengaging from your stepchild?

LOOK I WAS THAT LITTLE GIRL............DO NOT DISENGAGE YOUR SELF I ALWAYS WANTED ONE DAY TO GO SHOPPING OR A DAY JUST FOR ME AND MY STEP MOM YOU SHOULD TAKE HER OUT TO LUNCH NO WAIT GO AND GET HER HAIR AND NAILS DONE YOU KNOW JUST THE POLISH NOT THE ACRYLIC NAILS MAKE HER REALIZE YOUR NOT TRYING TO TAKE THE PLACE OF HER MOM BUT JUST TRYING TO BE THERE FOR HELP OR SOMEONE TO TALK TO NOW FOR ME DISCIPLINE NEVER CAME FROM MY STEP MOTHER I NOW AM A STEP MOTHER I WOULD NOT EVER OR HOLLER AT MY HUBANDS KIDS JUST BECAUSE WELL DOWN AND OUT THEY ARE NOT YOUR KIDS IN MY LIFE I ALWAYS SEE IT EASIER AND MUCH MORE RESPECTFUL ALLTHE WAY AROUND IF I TOLD MY HUSBAND IF HE DID SOMETHING WORNG OR BAD THEN MY HUBAND WOULD DISIPLINE HIM. THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY YOUR DIVORCED AND YOUR CHILD GOES WITH YOUR EX YOUR EX ALLOWS HIS/HER SPOUSE TO YOUR CHILD. (THIS IS ANOTHER ADULT OF NO IMMEDIATE REALTION HITTING YOUR CHILD) THAT WOULD NOT BE TOO COMFORTING. LET YOUR SPOUCE DO THE DISCIPLINE AND YOU BE THE GOOD GUY....MUCH EASIER AND THEN THE CHILD WILL SOONER OR LATER COME TO YOU FOR ADVISE IT IS A LONG PROCESS BUT IT HAS WORKED FOR ME FOR THE PAST 7 YEARS.